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| Prom was crazy....seriously | | |
| Hahahaha
It amazes me how much things have changed. I'm going to go insane this summer. I'm about to go insane now. I really wish a select few people would just die. I'm so tired of drama and everyone being so fake. Whatever I can't wait till I go to college and get rid of some of you people.
Then again there are quite a few people i'll miss alot. Those will be the people I call and come visit at school and stuff.
I love most of you (and I wish a few people would just die already)
 *muah* | | |
| Three sleepless nights,
this isn't how its supposed to be.
But you are so good at
taking your time to get back to me.
I will wait for you forever,
if you would just ask me.
I thought that I could change you
but you changed me.
But it doesn't feel right,
holding someone else's hand.
Together on phone line,
and living at two opposite ends.
It scares me to think,
that you could find takers other than me
and better than me.
But you're head is elsewhere,
and I’m talking enough for both of us.
When will you see it's not (it’s not) so easy for me
you’re careless, and whispered, insulting, and bruising.
And I thought that you said
things were improving.
These laces are untied,
but my feet are still walking away.
(I fall from you eyes, your eyes I trusted, you said forever)
I never thought that you could say these words.
Is this really happening?
I never thought that you could say these words.
(Don't say...)
Is this really happening?
I never thought that you could say these words.
(Don't say that we can...)
Is this really happening?
I never thought that you could say these words.
(Don't say that we can still be...)
Is this really happening?
I never thought that you could say these words.
Is this really happening?
(Don't say that we can still be friends)
Erase my name from this page.
How can you take all these days
(What is inside of me what have I done?)
and throw them away
(Is this the only way that you will notice me?)
as I sit here waiting for you (for you)
(Dead words for closed ears all this is sung for you)
I stay up nights
(If you are still pretending this is what's right)
until stars leave the sky
(Why cant you look at me can you only see?)
knowing what my dreams can take away
(Sides, your side, can take away)
Walk away from me.
This night is done.
Fin | | |
| *sigh*
I really shouldn't be allowed to be alone. Or atleast if i'm going to be alone my brain should be stored away till I need it for something constructive. Ever since I woke up at 2 today (haha o yeah) i've just been dweeling on things that I can't help. I know I should just focus on other things but I can't.
Don't get me wrong it's not like life is horrible, it's just not the way I want it. Most peoples lives aren't the way they want them to be. But I am not "most peoples", I don't act like alot of people do. It doesn't matter how much I know I should do something or how many times you tell me to do something. I'll do it when I want.
Heh I haven't looked at myself in the mirror for about 5 days now. There's a story behind this but it's not something I will ever share. The event that caused me to act this way is basically a double edged blade. I did learn something from it but it wasn’t an even trade.
I’m pretty sure I’m going to have a good weekend. This relies on two things though. 1. My parents being extremely nice and 2. Everything going right. Those are both long shots but I’d much rather one happen than two. This will be a test though. I wonder if anyone knows what the test is on though.
Waiting is killing me, but so is living
| | |
| HAHA...nothing ever ceases to amaze me.
This might be an emo entry, i haven't decided yet. If it is i'm REALLY REALLY not in the mood to hear any crap about it.
*sigh* I haven't been the happiest kid in the world, as of late. There are multiple reasons for this. No matter what reason I have for being so unhappy/angry it's all under my control, and to tell you the truth I could care less. I'll admit I don't want to deal with this shit. Very few things in life are worth this and I don't have a reason to put up with this crap anymore. I'm definatly not thinking about suicide or anything like that (unlike last time) but if someone told me to give them my wallet or they'd kill me...i'd tell them to shoot me or stop wasting my time. I'm not saying this to look like a badass (since only like 3-4 people actually read this).
I'm sure someone is asking themselves "why would you say something like that?" I'd say that b/c what do I have to live for? I mean sure I’m going to college (more school yay!) and I’ll probably get a job and get married. Ummm…that really seem like that much fun. I know I’m too young to really know what I’m talking about but still. *sigh*
It’s kind of funny how life is like setting up and knocking down dominos. One event leads to another and another etc.
I’m not a bad person, or at least I hope I’m not. A lot of the mistakes I make come from my many flaws. Depression is always the best way to find out who your true friends are. I’m blessed with the true friends I’ve had. I’ll list the true friends I have and write something about them (there in no specific order).
Justin: Justin is defiantly been there longer than anyone. He might not be the most outgoing person in the world but he really knows whats important in life. It’s really sad that we’ve stopped hanging out but I’ve been grounded so that makes it difficult.
Lee: Lee is the most recent true friend but he is also the one I can relate to the most. Lee is defiantly tied with Justin when it comes to being the most kind-hearted person I know. Lee can basically say anything and make me feel better. He’s been the person I’ve leaned on the most and I honestly think that I would’ve turned into such a horrible person if I hadn’t become friends with him.
MORE TO COME…
She called last night still waiting for a reply.
This static contact is pulling us apart.
Please hang on tight,
I'll see you through the night.
You have me still because I'm breathing,
Although it has slowed down.
Please don't cry because I'm leaving.
I hope I see you soon.
Exchange the sunshine for brown eyes and dark skies,
Replace this dull life with you.
I Know it's tomorrow,
She's waiting for something to feel alive.
You know me too well,
She's sorry and I can tell.
Scene missing, fade to black.
You're acting all this out again,
Just wake me when it's over,
When the curtains raise,
It's time to move on.
Exit now, credits rolling,
The girl who stole my heart.
The one that got away...
You know me too well,
She's sorry, I can tell.
Scene missing, fade to black.
You're acting all this out
You have me still because I'm breathing,
Although it has slowed down.
Please don't cry because I'm leaving.
I hope I see you soon.
You know me too well,
She's sorry and I can tell.
Scene missing, fade to black
You're acting all this out again
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